porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
