she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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