she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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