and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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