I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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