Already got asked if we're dating
i think my tv is drunk
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
