Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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