Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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