the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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