we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
