Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
