nut hugger
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
