is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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