Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Houston, we have a blender
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
