Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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