So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize