I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
