Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
