You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
