he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
