I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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