My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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