:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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