I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
