he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
