In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
zippers are such a cool invention
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
