Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I could make wine with my vomit
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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