you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The best revenge is premature balding
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
