I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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