I got chris browned last night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
