to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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