well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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