so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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