dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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