Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
