handjob tips. give me some.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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