The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
