my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
