So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
