you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
