physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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