It's Friday. Sex?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
