We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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