oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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