well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
