the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
