Small penises have feelings too.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
