Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
