Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So vagazzling was a success
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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