Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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