is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
