The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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