ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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