Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize