I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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