Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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