drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
