Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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