Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
