i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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