so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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