All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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