Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
