i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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