Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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