I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
