first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
