i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
