Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
