Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
