Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
